Indian Fathers

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A dramatic Caravaggio moment

One thing that really touched my heart in India was the fathers, young or old, and their  apparent devotion to their children.  I  first noticed  their demeanor, and then started looking for it. How you might ask, did I come to that conclusion? I noticed that quite often and enough for me to notice,  that the fathers were carrying their babies or the toddlers when the family was out walking. It was not the mamas who I remembered being on ” baby duty”  just about all the time in America.   Now before people take issue with me because my architect calls me the “queen of exaggeration,” hear me out.  There are always exceptions and my son and my son-in-law are part of it. Said architect says, “He learns from those two all the time about being a good father!” That is a substantial complement from someone who gives them sparingly.  I have to confess that these pictures are downloaded because I didn’t have shots of this. But interesting that Google Images had many on this topic. The first picture is haunting but peaceful as the child is snuggled up to her father for warmth and protection.

The+world's+oldest+dadThis is the world’s oldest father who is in his nineties and plans on having more children.

Puerto-Rico

The joy of being together!

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That tiny little soul who looks too fragile to survive.

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Dad needs a larger lap!

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Oh, that thumb is so satisfying!

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Buddies!

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Joy!

Image by: Wernher Krutein / Photovault.com All Rights Reserved

This dad is glad to have a baby girl. Baby girls are for a later post.

INDIAN FARMERS COMMIT SUICIDE OVER FAILED CROPS

A consoling dad. . .

I did want to tell you a tale, this morning from my teacher archives!  I tried to honor both mothers and fathers of my “children” most  years, by celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Mothers came to school for lunch and a game because they generally felt more comfortable in school. For Father’s Day, there was a hot dog , chips and watermelon picnic in the park just down the street.  No problem with Mother’s Day, I could count on all of them making an effort to attend.  But Father’s Day was tricky. There were  people who complained that some of the children had no father in their life. I wanted to celebrate the fathers who were involved  and show them appreciation but not embarrass the kids. I would say over and over before the day…”If your father can’t attend for any reason, you can invite an older brother, an uncle, grandfather or anyone of your choice to join us for the picnic and softball game. ( Larger, softer ball but played like baseball)

On the celebration days, the kids would act entirely different, and this happened enough with different groups for me to see a pattern.  The kids knew that their moms loved them and cared for them. If they couldn’t come, a substitute was fine.  But if their dad had promised to come  and was late, the child would be pacing and looking down the street. He or she would ask me, “Where is he? Is he coming?” I would try to console with,  “He is probably in traffic, and on the way.”  And the  joy on their faces when a familiar car drove up, followed by big hugs for dad!  There was no adequate substitute for dad. And I have to say, they all made an effort to come if they said they would.

This is a huge problem in the US with half of marriages, these days, ending in divorce. I am sad about that, but really just want to speak to the dads.  I have come to the conclusion that dads have a huge role to play with their children for their self worth, as a role model for girls on how they should be treated by other men, and as role models for the boys of how to be a man and father. Mothers are so good at the nurturing and  loving of their children and will try to be both roles, if it is  necessary.  Dads just know that your children love and worship you. Be there for them in whatever situation you find the family dynamics.  It is worth the work and sacrifice to love your children.  You will rejoice to see the adoration in your children’s eyes!

parents kissing son portrait

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Namaste. . . . .Anne. . . . .T I I I

About annetbell

I am a retired elementary teacher, well seasoned world traveler,new blogger, grandmother, and a new enthusiastic discoverer of the wonderfully complex country of India. Anne
This entry was posted in India and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Indian Fathers

  1. Kongo says:

    These are wonderful images, Anne. As a grandfather myself, I really relate to the photos of them with the infants.

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    • annetbell says:

      Those days go too quickly don’t they? And with the work and hustle bustle , they are not always enjoyed so much then. Thank God for grand-babies! Namaste….Anne

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  2. Wonderful pictures. I am blessed to have a husband…who tries to find time with his girls every evening ..no matter how busy he is …. Even if it is 20 minutes….he gets down on he floor with them and become a total goofball…. 🙂

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  3. It is very sad that in this country a very large portion of kids don’t have their fathers in their lives. That must have been heartbreaking to these those kids without their father on Father’s Day. Why do you think it’s different in India? Is it their culture?

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    • annetbell says:

      Well, I don’t think there is very much divorce in India…yet. To give you a very horrible example of this in the states…there was a young man bragging that he had 22 children with 17 different woman. This is not the norm, thank God but just one very irresponsible person. It is heart breaking to have students going back and forth between parents during the week and never really having a permanent “home”. It is always the children who suffer and they have no voice! Namaste. . .. Anne

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  4. I meant “heartbreaking to see those kids.” Sorry for the typo!

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  5. Madhu says:

    The first shot is truly a Caravaggio moment 🙂 Beautiful post Anne.

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  6. What does Namaste mean? Does it mean peace?

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    • annetbell says:

      Oh, I love when people ask! It is the Hindi ciao which means hello or goodbye. They put there hands together as if in prayer, put their hands to their forehead and blow slightly. I like the humility! Thanks for asking….namaste.. .. . Anne

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  7. That does sound like a beautiful way to greet someone. We need more humility in American culture.
    Thanks for the response!

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  8. I love the idea of a “Caravaggio” moment. I used to teach also (in Englewood and Jersey City, NJ) and noted the same sort of adoration the kids had for their fathers and the sadness and anger of the kids who had absent fathers. Sometimes I think men run away from pain by avoiding kids after a divorce.

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    • annetbell says:

      Do you agree that that photo is a Caravaggio moment? I loved it…. you don’t have to agree…of course! I am trying to comment on posts and do laundry..ugh!

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      • I’m trying to transcribe my handwritten novel into the computer and can tomatoes 🙂

        I think from now on when I have any spiritual enlightenment I’ll think to myself that it’s a Caravaggio moment!

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      • annetbell says:

        Women are great multi-tasters, aren’t we?

        I love the ” Caravaggio moment ” myself!!
        Would like to hear about your book??

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      • The first book in my series just came out a few months ago (surprise–it’s about redemption) and was recently reviewed and picked for Editor’s Choice if you’d like to see it!

        http://historicalnovelsociety.org/reviews/the-house-on-tenafly-road/

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      • annetbell says:

        I not only enjoyed looking and reading the review, I now have it on my Kindle! Looks great…even if he was a Yankee! I grew up in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia

        Listen, since you raise sheep. . . . do you have Border Collies to help you ? 😎 !

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      • Virginia’s beautiful. I’m still trying to figure out where I stand on states’ rights 🙂 These are the things I ponder. John Weldon only joined the army to get fed (he was a little idealistic on that one). Thank you for your purchase! I get very excited when people get to meet my characters.

        I think I have to update my About Page because we only have goats at the moment. We were supposed to get a little family of sheep this summer, but at the last minute things changed at my husband’s job and we weren’t able to get the fencing done in time–so next spring. We already have a big white guard dog to chase off the foxes, but my husband couldn’t stand the idea of the dog not sleeping in our room at night. The best laid plans . . .do you like Border Collies?

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      • annetbell says:

        Yes, we had a Border Collie! She was very smart, complicated , needed lots of stimulation both with her mind and physically. She was not a good pet, but should have been on a farm somewhere herding sheep! We saw a group of Border Collies each trained to their own whistle command herd sheep in Scotland! There is a doggie IQ test…a blanket is put over the dog and then seconds are counted for how long it takes them to escape. You guessed it. . ..Border Collies always win!
        Started the book but having trouble concentrating at this moment. Love your attention to detail. Even from this little bit read, it made me think of COLD MOUNTAIN by Frazier. Do you know it? He writes in poetry!

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      • Yes, I liked his book (sort of) until the end. I hate sad endings. I think his book is a lot darker than mine. It’s funny but I really set out to write Anne of Green Gables for adults–haha. You never know what you’ll come up with when you write.

        We had a Border Collie a long time ago and he was a loving terrible pet 🙂 He jumped out second story windows, chased bicycles and nipped at repair men.

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      • annetbell says:

        Sounds like a Border Collie!

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      • annetbell says:

        Well, since I have only read a little of your book, I was thinking about the war raging but the books being stories of the consequences of it and its affect on people’s lives.
        Later!

        Loved the post on Mylie Cyrus…you are good at getting to the heart of the matter and cutting through the crap! 😎

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